He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize