Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize