Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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