positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize