My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
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I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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