I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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