i don't plan on having that self control this summer
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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