Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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