yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Say something about gay babies.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize