just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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