I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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