I just made out with a guy for $7.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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