NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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