i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize