Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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