please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize