the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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