i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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