I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I want to make a zoo with you.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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