i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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