No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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