There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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