Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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