so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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