Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just used a chaser for red wine.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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