great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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