There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize