Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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