is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I looked at my own cervix.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
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I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
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Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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