I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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