And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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