the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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