ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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