As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize