I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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