you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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