Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
foreskin is a definite game changer
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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