Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
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How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
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I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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