I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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