Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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