walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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