Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize