Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize