the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize