4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
My vagina just clenched in fear
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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