found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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