Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize