I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
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