Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
there is glitter all over my balls
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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