you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize